Personal Responsibility – First Circle: Self

Find joy in everything you choose to do. Every job, relationship, home…

It’s your responsibility to love it or change it.

– Chuck Palahniuk

Dedicant talks about circles surrounding you and the impact you have on these circles.

First Circle – The Self

Self-love, self- esteem, and self-knowledge are all things that are incredibly important, but the more importantly is self-honesty. There is only ever one person you should ever listen to indefinitely: YOU! You are your most important asset. But knowing, and following what’s in your best interest can be incredibly tough. Especially for those who have a “martyred” personality, or are givers, and find it difficult to take as well as give. I do this frequently, but in the end crashing after a while trying to do and be everything for everyone. It’s not healthy behavior. Instead, pay attention to what your mind, intuition, and body are telling you.  Take care of yourself.

Abundance: I am at heart a rather materialistic person. I like my belongings to be new, sparkly, and aesthetic as well as functional. I like expensive crystals and gems, and would have a jewelry collection to amaze the mind if I could. Not to mention my collection of books as it grows every year by leaps and bounds… But I’m not particularly proud of the greed that sometimes flares up with that side of me. So I tend to squash it. HOWEVER! That’s not to mean you can’t strive to be comfortable. There’s no need to live like a spartan monk. So long as it harms no one, there’s nothing wrong with wanting to have more. Having financial security reduces stress in *huge* ways. I’ve recently lost my job, and my spouse and I were living on a single income that did not fulfill our needs (he has since gotten a new one with a hefty pay raise so we’re doing much better). We had many long nights trying to figure out where money was coming from for this and that. Without the help of my parents, we would have been possible danger of losing our home. Wanting, and having, money/abundance is healthy, so long as that wanting is not destructive to you or others.

Health: “Do what ye will, an it harm none.” The Rede also applies to *yourself* in case anyone had forgotten. Mwahahaha! No lectures on diet or exercise. I promise. We’ve all heard them far too often, but you do need to keep yourself healthy. You can read more about what Calafia says in her book if you want.

So, listen to yourself, treat yourself, and try not to be too hard on yourself.

– Alfrún

Psychic Learning Tool

I got this idea from Dedicant: A Witch’s Circle of Fire by Thuri Calafia (if I seem to be using and quoting this book quite a lot right now, it’s only because I’ve chosen this to be the beginning of my journey. There will be more along the way, I promise.). You create colored cards, and “guess” the color on the back of each card. I plan on keeping track of my correct guesses as I go. Ms. Calafia recommends you do this several times a week. Here’s how I did it:



Take 15 index cards and cut them in half as you’ll need 30 cards. You can of course use whole index cards, but I have small hands, so I cut them in half. I have the same trouble shuffling tarot cards.

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Dream Journal 10.30.14

I was at class (college I assume since no high school class ever felt this one), and I ended up following home a classmate (an actual former classmate I knew and liked from high school), so we could hang out. He had a small daughter. We talked and I was enjoying myself. I felt a bit glowy actually. Started to feel those butterflies in my tummy everyone seems to know about. Somehow I ended up spilling a drink on myself, and my clothes were soaked. They insisted I take them off, so they could be washed. I was in my classmate’s room, stripped down, ready to hand off my clothes, when his daughter bursts in with an iPad. She’s so excited about this game she wants me to play. I wrap myself in a sheet, and take the iPad. It’s some sort of sexually explicit game (I don’t have any idea what the game was, I just knew she shouldn’t be playing), and I try to erase it from the tablet, but I have no clue how the tablet works. My classmate walks in, and I’m mortified that I’m naked, and useless with tech. He takes one swipe on the tablet and the game is gone. I’m still only wearing a sheet. I try to get both of them to leave. I try to tell them, “I’m married! I’m married! I can’t be naked right now!” (which I am married). But neither would really listen, and I don’t think I wanted my classmate to listen anyway. I was feeling some guilt at this point. I was still trying to evict them from the room, when I woke up.

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My Beginnings and My Transcript

I am beginning my year and day studies in a few days time (November 1st, after Samhain, the new year, seems as good a time as any). I’ve technically started a little early with this exercise, but as I’ve just gotten the new book (Dedicant: A Witch’s Circle of Fire by Thuri Calafia), I was excited to start. I started tonight by producing my Transcript. You can access it from the sidebar menu. I’m not entirely certain what she means by some of what she asks for, but maybe I’ll figure it out along the way. Feel free to pop over there any time you want. It’ll be updated as I go along.

Tomorrow I will be creating colored flashcards. Here’s how and what they are for:

You will need 30 index cards (or cards similar to this)

Markers, paint, or crayons of the primary and secondary colors (red, yellow, blue, orange, green, purple)

Draw a circle and color it in for each card. Five cards of each color, so you’ll end up with 30 cards total. Then, with the colors facing away from you, or downwards, guess which color each card is. I’ll be keeping track of my “scores”. I’m interested to see if I get better.

This exercise helps to develop intuition and psychic muscles. Go for it, and good luck!

– Alfrún